I Failed.

Alright folks. As much as I love posting about the joys of my life and how great things are, I live a real life where, let’s face it, things aren’t always so great.
It doesn’t get much realer than what I’m about to post…
I didn’t pass my BCBA boards.
To know it is one thing, but to write it for the whole blog world to read is another. My ego needs one of these.

The worst part about failing? I only missed passing by a few points. If I’m going to fail I’d rather it be a big one. Knowing I was so close sucks.
Apparently, I chose the hardest testing period to take it in considering the passing rate was 46%. 46. In the past it has been around 70%.
The weirdest thing? I was fine all day except when I had to tell J. For some reason telling him made it seem so real. This was something we both wanted so badly. I have never wanted something so badly in my life.

The worst part? Not really the studying and re-taking it (although for someone with test anxiety it sucks), but I’ll have to wait for what seems like an enternity again for the results.

So what’s next? I’m going to think positively, start studying now, and lock myself in the library the entire week before the test.
And if I start to feel sorry for myself I’ll remember it could always be worse.


  • Megan

    Darn that test! I heard that passing percentage – that's insane! I am so proud of you for taking it and even prouder for not giving up and taking it again! I'm pretty sure that will make you a doubly good BCBA for having to do it twice!

  • MalloryBo

    I'm sorry to hear that. 🙁 I've always admired your work ethic and the fact that you have way more will power and discipline than I ever will. You will pass in Jan, I'm sure.

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